Current mood: 
bummed
In my mice space mailbox..a letter from..HOLLYWOOD! (you know, I sorta used to live there, but not really..) anyway:
I just knew that stuff I did for Barack would pay off! All the free things on ccMixter..That piece in the New York Times..PAY DAY here I comes!
but..reading the fine print..sigh…
…so disappointing..
(Good use of graphics, no? attaturk got nothin’ on the bluesboy..)
—————– Original Message —————–
From: CBS Casting for “Jingles”!
Date: May 20, 2008 7:49 PM
Hello,
My name is Shannon McCarty and I am working on a new show for CBS and Mark Burnett Productions. It is currently entitled “Jingles,” and we are out to find the greatest undiscovered marketing genius. It is a live show airing at the end of the summer. We are looking for teams of two to three people to write and perform product jingles. A team could be anything from singer-songwriters to a brother/sister team to a singing comedy duo or a barbershop quartet. We are looking for fun, high-energy performances mixed with a competitive spirit.
I discovered your information on the Center Stage Chicago and thought you or someone you know might be interested in this new reality opportunity. Not only would the show be an hour long national advertising opportunity showcasing the talent of the contestants, but the winner will receive $100,000 along with the bragging rights of composing a national commercial.
I really appreciate your time and assistance on this. I’d love to hear any recommendations you may have for anyone that might be interested in participating. Please contact me at your earliest convenience. Thank you!
Best regards,
Shannon McCarty
Casting Director
Jingles
smccarty@markburnettprod.com
310.903.5450
——————————————————————————————————–
Hi Shannon,
So nice of you to write. I really appreciate you taking the time to search through the listings in Center Stage Chicago and thoughtfully craft an authentic, heartfelt message in your truly worthwhile search for the “greatest undiscovered marketing genius”. Although I am ALWAYS looking for a “new reality opportunity”, the thought of writing a jingle makes me nauseous…though indeed the national “bragging rights” of having done so are..MIGHTY TEMPTING!
But as much as I am tempted..aw Shannon, it’s just not “gonna happa” as the kids say. But good luck with your search, and I will be anxiously awaiting the shows “launch” in the not too distant future. Please keep me posted through MySpace, ok?
In closing..just wondering..who is the main sponsor for the show? I heard “through the grapevine” that the RNC and John “McGramps” are looking to connect with some of that marketing genius talent you are seeking…now that Mr Rove has kind of retired. Have you and Mr Burnett given any thought to this exciting cross marketing approach to increased revenue, not to mention an easier time with the FCC? Wowser! Could be a WINNA!
THANKS!
Warmest and Best Regards,
Mr Pazdan
ps…umm, never mind.
 |
Currently reading : There’s No Business Like Show Business…Was By Alan Young |
hmmph..too ..snark-filled? Should I stop reading firedoglake and just get on with my marketing genius career? I mean music career..
Comments 2
You’re so jaded John, think of all the millions of people you could have made happy. Plus $100,000! I really think you should reconsider this offer. I used to work in advertising, I can give you all the clues you need to win.
First of all, don’t be original. That scares them. The more it can sound the hit of the week, the better.
Second, listen to everything they say. These aren’t greedy, uneducated buffoons who were too untalented, neurotic, stupid or lazy to make it in the real world….they’re usually educated.
Third, they understand more about music than you can ever hope to, on a spiritual level. Try and remember that.
Just ignore the fact that they can’t play an instrument, are tone deaf, have the taste of a slime eel and their knowledge of music only goes back as far as the last Frosted Flakes commercial, they know what they’re talking about. So when they tell you the ending should, “Totally Go, like, up. then down. But not too much. But a lot” You’d better believe it brother.
Last but not least, leave your soul at home.
-Das
Posted 21 May 2008 at 3:28 pm ¶Some people I know went the evil advertising route in the 80’s..one lucky fella, proudly showing me his new SUV, said he bought it by being the one to say “at McDonalds” at the end of a jingle. Think of it..a $35,000 “car” ..for saying the magic two words.
Another person I know decided to use her degree in English literature to write the in house newsletter at mickey d’s. Good use of a $100,000+ ejjikation.
What got me about the letter though was the post moderne’ nightmare blend of a reality show mitzed with advertising/shilldom.
Posted 22 May 2008 at 6:41 am ¶There’s no line anymore..maybe never was. Mix the gnus media with the corporate shills and you get..America/2008. umm, throw in the gebus angle too..
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